~ Chapter 3: Cause of death ~

Long story short, my current situation was nothing but the result of the actions of the first few idiot kings who summoned me. But as luck would have it, by denying my right to take upon the mantle of a hero in their world, they not only managed to annoy me but also all of these 118 gods as well. I had a feeling Divine Wrath might need a new definition after this.

“The reason we obliterated your body and called you here was to fix your current predicament...” Sapherya said with a wry smile.

Despite this goddess acting as the voice for all of these other gods, it was clear that she was under a lot of pressure and everything right now was rather troubling for her. Unfortunately, I wasn't the type to just simply accept the fact that I HAD to be killed, then be on my merry way to the after life as if it was a given.

“Explain.” I crossed my arms at my chest and gave her the death glare.

“Hiii!” she squirmed “Well... you see...” she tried to explain, but this sexy goddess from before interrupted her.

“There was no other way to break this unending curse of the [Unwanted Hero]. Trust me, we tried. What beautiful Sapherya here forgot to mention was the fact that ONE mark can be erased after you spent a whole~ year in your original world and managed to change your ways. Unfortunately, you kept getting summoned despite our best efforts to prevent this from happening...” she spoke with a tempting tone in her voice.

“For many, a year is more than enough to get them back on the path of good, but ya see, not ALL of us gods were informed of your current... predicament. There are billions of us out there... And you might not be the only who ended up like this.” the god who looked like a classic Fantasy dwarf said so.

“The other way to remove those pesky 'bad marks' is to kill~ you!” the sexy goddess added.

“Aha...” I squinted my eyes at her.

Speaking of which, not all of these gods were human-looking, there were even elves and some had animal ears and tails. Others felt more like they would fit better in the Gods of Destruction or Gods of Darkness category rather than Love and Light.

“Even so, we can't just kill you right off the bat like that. Earth isn't within our jurisdiction...” the fellow in red armor was the one to make this remark before letting out a disappointed sigh.

I could tell he was the type to rain lightning bolts on those who called upon his wrath.

“I understand. So you killed me. The god of my world isn't too happy about it, and now he wants you to do something about it?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Not too happy about it? That would be one bloody small way of putting it! That fellow was outraged!! Furious!” said and elf god with a strange British accent.

Inwardly, I smiled. I was happy to know this God of Earth wasn't the type to laze around while others wrecked havoc upon his world. After all, he or she was still my god in one way or another.

“That's why I said dropping a meteor on his head wasn't the right thing to do!” pouted Sapherya.

My mind just froze.

“Say what now? Meteor?” I blinked surprised.

“Yes... it was that or the nuke.” she smiled back innocently.

“Hey! That's more terrible than the previous one! You would have started World War III and brought the whole planet to its end!” I shouted back at the idiotic gods who thought killing me with a thermonuclear bomb was a bright idea.

“Well, I just wanted to make you blow up by eating a grenade...” one god said.

“Melting him with an accidental orbital laser strike would have been best.” another pointed out.

“Nah! Crush the Moon on top of him!”

This last guy made me angry.

No wonder the god of my world was furious. Killing me in my sleep as a result of an accident or a heart attack would have been a million times better. Even dropping a pot on my head or having a truck turn me into minced meat on the ground would have been better... Ah! Wait, that last one didn't work that well those last couple of times.

Anyway, there were countless way to kill me without needing to involved anyone else. Accidents happened all the time and even those closest to me would have understood, but a meteor? No matter how I looked at it, these guys thought up of only ridiculous, outrageous, and chaos ensuing situations.

It was quite normal that the god of Earth was going to end up blowing a fuse, or two for that matter. After all, these options would have had more than one collateral victim and would have certainly had some rather terrible side effects, the type nobody in their right mind would want.

“We're sorry! We'll reflect on it!” the gods replied in chorus.

“Nobody's going to mention the alien invasion one?” somebody from the back asked, but the only thing he received were death glares from the other gods.

Note from the author: Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it! Oh, and be sure to check out my other stories too!

This will be the average size of the chapters. At most it will be double or then split into 2/3 parts.

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11 Comments on ""

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Elaborate
Guest

the only who -> the only one who
wrecked havoc -> wreaked havoc (Yeah, I know, it’s one of those super-rare words who only survived as part of an expression.)

Nameno
Guest

I kinda like that “alien invasion” one. Good old S-F, but that might be my inner XCOM (’94) fan speaking.

Albirew
Member

kha kha kha! kind of remembered me the “dumb ways to die” video

pierre
Guest

hahaha i love it

dragonmage
Guest

….those gods…no wonder their followers are like that when their God is like them…..

Gege
Member

Oooh,so many ways to die. And soo many would involved on the death.

flame
Member

Lovely as always~ So with the whole him dying… did it kill others as well…? Those are some exterme ways of death :p

A little Gore but nothing super bad… this is what I thought when I heard “kill you” – http://imgur.com/a/hSpUq

I can only assume you use normal tilde.. I do love my browser auto replacing normal tilde with the Japanese one “~”… most fonts tilde looks like a – 😐

arkantos
Guest

This gods mmmmmmmm…….. well XD

wpDiscuz