~ Chapter 43: Tears in front of the door ~

[Leonidas' point of view]

 There was a graveyard silence in our carriage while we were headed back to our estate. For once, I was actually regretting not being able to hear the sounds of a diesel engine or the neighing of horses. This silence was simply unbearable...

I kept staring at the floor of the carriage because I was unwilling to look my family in the eyes. Somehow, I felt like I did a bad thing back at the Earl's house. Cassandra didn't say a word about it either.

This is weird, isn't it? It has to be! I though as I clenched the edge of my seat After all, I just spoke up against someone who holds the title of Royal Knight, while the other was a teacher at one of the most respectable schools in the kingdom! No matter how you look at it, a child like me suddenly disagreeing with their decision just because I had a 'feeling' wasn't right... but... but if I didn't, something told me I would have regretted it for the rest of my life... Ugh... Mother and father are probably furious at me! I thought as my mind was already pulling me into a trap known as 'panic attack'.

The time went by without me even noticing it and when we stopped in front of the Drakarys Mansion, everyone got out quietly. I was the last to do so.

The moment I set foot on the ground and looked up, I saw the backs of my parents. Suddenly, I felt my heart clenching with fear and pain.

Did I upset them? Do... Do they think I'm a bad child? A failure? I thought as memories of my previous family resurfaced.

I couldn't follow the path they set out for me nor be a normal child to them. When I went back home, mother always looked at me with pity and father always let out a disappointed sigh as if wondering why I even bothered dropping by.

I didn't want to repeat those moments... I didn't want to see those expressions on my current parents.

From my own experience, there was nothing worse than the feeling that you have betrayed your own family or failed their expectations. If it was me being the one who was betrayed by them, or the other way around, it didn't matter. The fear, shame, and feeling of abandonment were still there, fighting in a tug of war with the emotions of joy and happiness given by past memories with them.

N-No... I-I d-don't want this... I stuttered in my mind.

Sweat was forming in drops on my forehead. My hands were trembling from fear. After all, as a child, that was the first time in this new life of mine when I acted in such a rebellious manner in front of my parents, whom I cherished so much.

The world slowed down around me, and a second felt like an hour.

Right then, right now, I knew I had to do something. I had to say something before this family abandoned me... before I was abandoned... again.

“Mother! Father! Sister! Forgive me!” I shouted as hard as I could while bowing down at the waist.

I held my hands clenched tight into fists, and unknowingly, a few tears flowed down on my cheeks and then fell on the ground.

There were a few seconds that passed by in silence without me seeing any reaction from them, but I was too afraid to look up at them, to see the expressions on their faces. In my panicked state, I could only think of the worse and imagine them glaring down at me with scornful eyes. I feared they might start hating me, but the only thing I could do now was to... wait.

Yet, the first to speak was none other than my little sister, Cassandra.

“Brother, don't be an idiot.”

“Huh?!” I blinked surprised and looked up at her.

She let out a sigh and shook her head. I then noticed the gazes of my parents, and they weren't at all as I imagined them to be, scornful, hating, disgusted... of me.

“Oh, son. You didn't do anything wrong.” mother said as she showed me a comforting smile.

“Your mother is right. In fact, I'm glad you spoke up! For some reason, I couldn't muster the will to do it.” father said as he rubbed his chin.

“That man, Alexandre Damascus didn't feel right. I don't like him.” Cassandra furrowed her brow and crossed her arms at her chest.

“Indeed.” mother nodded.

“S-so... y-you aren't m-mad at me for s-speaking up like that?” I asked in a trembling tone of voice.

“Oh, son! Why should we? Did we not raise you to be a man who could stand up for himself and what he believes in?” mother asked as she walked up to me and gently patted my head.

“Yes... yes you did...” I replied trying to hold back some tears.

“Then there's nothing to worry about. In fact, I'm proud of you for being able to speak up like that when all of us just stood there frozen stiff! It just gives to show what a wonderful and special child you are!” she showed me a warm smile, sister too.

“Even if it was a bit different from how a noble should act.” father pointed out as he scratched his right cheek.

“As if you ever cared about those trifle matters!” mother laughed.

“Well, it's good to be aware of them, but in the end, you did nothing to be ashamed of, son!” father also showed me a smile.

“Brother misunderstood.” commented Cassandra.

“Thank you...” I said as the tears I tried so hard to keep at bay rolled down my cheeks like water from a broken faucet.

“Oh my! I guess you were really scared by this!” mother said before she took me into her embrace to calm me down.

I whimpered like the child I was in my mother's arms. I was afraid I did something wrong. It was scary to speak up like that, but... but... I as glad I did it.

Once more, I was shown just how much my family cared about me.