~ Chapter 82: Illsyore unchained ~

[Illsyore’s point of view]

What was this that I heard?

What was this that I saw?

Before my eyes, I saw the stubborn Zoreya smiling, crying, speaking those words which touched my heart. It was a confession, but then... she fell back, and I saw the blood.

The red stain spread on the ground, while The Darkness laughed in joy.

The weapon that killed her... was in my hand...

“I’m holding it?” I said and saw it.

This wasn’t a window I was looking through. I was actually back in my body. I was looking at Zoreya though my own eyes... or eye.

“You... How?!” The Darkness asked, but I ignored it.

Did I have the power to do this? Since when?

I didn’t know... I just leaned over Zoreya’s body and gently touched her cheek.

“She’s not dead...” I said surprised when I felt her weak breath.

“Does it matter? She’ll be gone in but a few moments!” The Darkness laughed as it slapped my hand away from her.

Indeed, I controlled now only a small part of my body, it controlled the rest.

With this, I could kill myself and end it, but then... what would have happened to Zoreya? What would have happened to Nanya, Shanteya, Ayuseya, and Tamara who were still trapped inside my Inner Mind? They would remain there... until the Magic Energy that kept them alive vanished or another Dungeon took over my ‘possessions’.

Why am I like this? I asked myself, but I couldn’t remember what happened during the small moment between when I saw Zoreya’s tears and now when I was outside. It was a blur, and when I tried to clear it, a crippling pain surged through me.

“Ugh!” I groaned and grabbed my head with my left hand.

It hurt.

I realized only now that I wasn’t alone. The Darkness was here and didn’t stop attacking me for even one second as it constantly tried to take over. The pain was what made me remember.

“Give it up, you human! You don’t deserve this body! Just give it to me and be off to your next world!” it cussed.

Strange enough, but it spoke with the same mouth I used to speak with, only its tone of voice was far more aggressive than mine.

At this point, when its prize was right within his reach, The Darkness couldn’t afford to lose to me. For a moment, I did wonder if it would be best for me to simply... give up and let it have my body, yet when I looked at Zoreya barely hanging on that last thin thread of life... I just couldn’t...

It hurt her... It killed her... Just like it will do to all of them... I thought.

Tears kept flowing from my left eye, but the strength I needed to fight against it wasn’t there... yet at the same time it was. No, it was sealed... deep inside me... hidden and masked by countless layers of illusions cast upon my weak mind.

What was I? A human... a weak, pathetic... human, but...

“GET BACK YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE!” I shouted and struggled to fight against it.

Did it hurt?

Yes...

Terribly so...

The pain was at the level where I felt like I was being ripped apart limb from limb. Every fiber in my body screamed in agony as I pushed against it. It hurt...

But against this thing... this waste beneath me who was just a weak human, I simply couldn’t afford to lose no matter how much it hurt! This THING was nothing more than a gathering of long-lost memories of the former owners of this body.

Yes, I was a weak and pathetic human... In a way, a loser for giving up the fight so easily, for running away from my wives, from this pain, but at the very least, I still had a soul I could call my own. I still had a will to fight against it.

So what would have happened if I were to give up?

To put it simply...

I would regret it...

I would deeply and terribly regret it to the point where in my future lives, I would never wish or desire to meet with my wives ever again!

Why?

Because I was afraid to look in their eyes and hear that I was wrong... I feared my own mistakes, and I feared moving forward. I feared even the fear of fearing... which in itself was bloody ridiculous.

This very thing was what made me nothing more than a foolish, weak human, yet one who dared to say that he once loved and maybe still loved the women he met in this life.

By human standards, I should be nothing more than a toddler, but by my own, I was over thirty years old.

This pain I suffered as I pushed myself against this monster was nothing... I felt worse before... when I thought that my wives hated me and regretted ever meeting me.

Thus, clenching my teeth, I forced myself to stay to recover my body.

So what if it hurt?!

So what if I were to die?!

Didn’t the same thing happen to my wives and now... Zoreya? They fought their own battles. They felt their share of pain, be it more or less than others, but eventually, they stood tall and won...

Why couldn’t I?

“GET BACK!” I shouted and my tensed palms aimed to my far left and right.

Powerful beams of laser collided with the barrier, but I kept firing until my arms started to heat up and the crystals to crack.

I didn’t care if it hurt, I had to push myself to the absolute limit if I wanted to win this battle.

“GIVE ME THIS BODY!” shouted The Darkness.

“NO!” I cringed and jumped back, landing on a pile of boulders.

“ARGH!” I groaned in pain as I squirmed on the ground, beams kept on shooting from my palms, carving ditches all around me, devastating the environment.

If one were to look at me now, I was no different than a demon possessed human, but maybe it wasn’t that far off from the truth.

The black skin on my arms, a metal layer The Darkness added at its own convenience, began to melt and burn my flesh found underneath it. The crystal on my chest was cracked in several places while green and red smoke battled against each other.

The pain I felt was beyond words, yet I still fought...

Strange how only a moment ago I had no reason to do so.

Stranger it was that even if I wanted to, because of the pain I felt, I couldn’t stop to debate if I really wanted to do this or not. All I knew in that moment of blur and pain was that I had to win. I had to push back The Darkness. I had to take control again... But at the rate things were going, they didn’t look too good.

To win, I had to do something else, I had to gain more power... I had to...

Erm... What could I do to win against The Darkness again? What was it again?

It was only for a brief moment, but when those questions popped into my mind, The Darkness pushed me back into the Inner Mind, however, I grabbed hold of it and dragged it down with me.

[Shanteya’s point of view]

There was nothing more painful for us, Illsyore’s wives, than to see him struggle against an unscrupulous foe and suffer alone as a result of it. Our words of love and hope never reached him. We strained ourselves for nothing, but at one point, something did happen... A change occurred.

“NOOO!” he screamed at the window in front of him, and the chains on his back cracked.

Light spread from his back, piercing the darkness, but it wasn’t enough to break them off. It wasn’t enough to cleanse this place.

“You can do it, Illsy!”

“Fight!”

“We love you, Illsy!”

We all shouted, each whatever we felt was right.

If he heard us, we didn’t know, but then we saw how whips of shadows formed all around him, curling and twisting like some fiends from the underworld. Those things frightened even me.

Looking down, I saw my hands trembling. Looking towards Tamara, I saw mewing and crying with her hair standing at its end. Ayuseya was calling out and crying. Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming. Nanya was struggling as well, fighting the darkness that kept her immobilized, but all of her might couldn’t even make it budge.

Why... why do we have to suffer like this? I thought as tears flowed down my cheeks.

I lifted my eyes up at Illsy. He was crying. He was in pain. He was suffering like he never did before, yet what hurt us the most was the simple fact that we were unable to reach out and help the man we loved.

It’s true... Being unable to help the one you love hurts the most... I thought as I opened my mouth and only called out to him by his name.

At the same time, Zoreya’s voice echoed throughout this entire darkness.

“Illsy...”

Her voice was soft yet held a soft trace of sadness in it.

“Illsy... I love you... So don’t ever lose hope... Fight!... You can win... Only you can... because, Illsy, the one we love is only you... the human hiding inside this Dungeon’s body.”

It irked me a bit, but at the same time, I was happy Zoreya was able to convey those few words to him. At this point, it didn’t really matter who it was as long as they could reach our beloved. Neither of us wished to race to be the first. What we desired was for him to recover and show his gentle smile again.

What followed next was a scream of agony and despair from Illsy.

“AAA!!! NOOO!!! AH! AAA!!!”

It was such a powerful cry that it even hurt us physically.

“Ugh!” I groaned as I felt my chest tightened.

Illsy was crying tears of blood... literal tears of blood. The pain was so much that the black chains coming out of his back simply shattered to bits. The light exploded outwards, piercing the darkness, which began to writhe in agony and crack, but even that wasn’t enough to make it go away.

Light and darkness mixed up together like lightning cracking through the night, but just like water and oil, they rejected each other. One of them had to win, so they fought for dominance, shifting, changing, twisting, and turning with thundering sounds all around us.

At this point, we all feared how this was going to affect us, who were right in the middle of it all.

Not long after this strange phenomenon began, Illsyore returned to this place.

“I won’t let you!” The Darkness spoke as it manifested itself in front of Illsy in the form of a creepy, shadowy being identical in looks with him.

We gulped in fear and watched as a berserk Illsy made out of light rushed towards the one made out of the darkness. The first punch was landed from our Illsy, sending a powerful ripple of energy throughout The Darkness. The counter came as a wave of black light that was shot at Illsy, shattering his left hand.

As if it was nothing, he flew at The Darkness, while his hand regenerated and punched him with it right in the face. But this battle didn’t stop at a mere brawl. Beams of light, of shadow, and powerful magic spells were unleashed upon each other in rapid succession.

To put it in simple words, it was as if witnessing a battle between two terrifying gods. Never in my life did I witness, heard, or hoped to see such a thing. Only in the tales of creation from the temples would I hear of such things. But weren’t those just some exaggerated stories?

Not knowing what to believe or think, I watched with my breath held as the battle went on between these two unstoppable forces.

[Illsyore’s point of view]

Pain... It hurt...

I saw nothing but darkness...

Darkness which I had to fight against, which I had to destroy... Yes... Destroy...

But pain was there... Loneliness too... Despair... Anger... Frustration... Sadness...

All of these emotions raged inside me, shredding me to bits.

“AAARGH!” I screamed and shouted as I punched the foe before me.

My fists shattered upon impact and then were restored by the light inside of me... time and time again. Yet, each time I did this, waves upon waves of crippling pain coursed through me... I couldn’t even tell left from right, up from down. All I knew was that I had to defeat that thing before me.

It was just me, a soul, and the monster made out of the memories of past Dungeons.

“[Infernal Glacier Hurricane]!” shouted The Darkness.

A powerful wind began to blow towards me, and with it, countless spears of ice covered in liquid fire. They exploded upon touch and sent the hellish liquid towards me. I didn’t flinch or moved out of the way.

It hurt, but I was still there... alive...

But if it could summon a spell, so could I. Thus, without hesitation, I sent a myriad of similar spears towards him. They exploded upon touch.

Unlike me, it could not withstand the pain and howled in agony.

When I was a human, I might have felt a bit of sadness or maybe flinched at the idea of hurting another sapient being in such a terrible way, but right now... there was not even a single spec of regret inside my heart.

With a terrible howl, The Darkness rushed at me and punched me in the chest. I tried to block it, but my arms shattered like glass, sending specs of darkness all around me.

Then...

I remembered... The moment when I first saw Shanteya. Inside the fire, among her dead comrades, injured by my spell, weakened from her journey... A single moment, a single gaze into her beautiful black eyes was all it took for me to save her.

Then, she became my friend, my ally, and finally my wife.

The memory stopped as I got pushed back.

My hand recovered, and I punched The Darkness in the face, shattering half of its head.

Another memory appeared.

Surrounded by soldiers of an unknown kingdom, I was afraid... alone... without friends or family. They grinned and smiled like vile monsters. They attacked my defenseless Crystal Body, shattering it to a billion pieces.

I ignored this memory and quickly blocked its attack.

My left side cracked.

The memory of when I first met Nanya appeared before me. In my eyes, she was nothing but a cute teenage girl, but the ensuing conversation turned her into a ‘teenage-looking teacher’. Mischievous like a demoness, yet filled with passion, emotion, and hope.

She was different from Alina, who held a certain grace and ‘normal’ feel to her.

I never would have thought that Nanya’s first time would be with me, but we both enjoyed it. That night was one of passion and love we both would come to remember.

The memories stopped as I took a stance and fired white beams of light out of my palms. I was imagining shooting my AGLMC Lasers, so maybe my spiritual body made something similar appear. Cracks appeared in The Darkness. If that thing could do it, why couldn’t I?

Now, I remembered something else.

Alone, afraid, cold... I walked through the woods in search for food and shelter. My body looked like that of a child, but inside I was a Dungeon. An adventurer found me, but because I looked cute, he thought I would make a good slave. Furious, I killed him and everyone else around him. Hungry, I feasted on their corpses...

The memory ended.

“What’s this?” I asked myself as I looked at my cracked arms that kept shattering and repairing themselves time and time again like a broken record.

This was the first time I noticed something like this happening to me.

When I looked in front of me, I saw The Darkness found itself in a similar position.

I knew why... it was those memories... They were mixing up and attacking the very foundations of our existence. Mine was weak when compared to its, which constituted of countless other Dungeon lives.

“I’ll shatter you before you will!” I threatened it, then I punched it again.

Another memory flowed through me. It was the memory of a Dungeon who tried to make a friend, but in the end was betrayed and destroyed.

I ignored all of these things. I hated them. They weren’t mine. They were fake!

Dodging another attack, my left leg was shattered. As it reformed, I remembered how I fell in love with Ayuseya. From that time when I first heard her play her violin and then until our first night together. The gentle and elegant princess hid a real tigress behind that smile of hers... or rather, a dragoness?

It was strange how much I could love Ayuseya, but the same was for Shanteya... and Nanya. All three of them were my beloved wives, who I wanted to embrace every night and whisper sweet words to... Ah, yes~... I loved them. Strange how could a human honestly love three different women, but I did... Was it wrong or right, who cared?

“I’ll kill you!” shouted The Darkness, pulling me out of my reverie.

“No... I will...” I declared, unwilling to let it rip away from me the women I loved.

There was also Zoreya now, yes... maybe no? Tamara was just a child, but I had to take care of her like I would a daughter, or maybe friend, until she was strong enough to leave my side.

The battle resumed with the two of us pulling punches at each other, but sadly, despite my words, I felt my energy draining... I didn’t have the strength to keep up with him.

Was I going to lose?

I wondered...

I felt faint... weak...

My body was filled with cracks, my mind was blurry, my vision foggy... I was surrounded by a raging Darkness, while I... I was stoned.

Is this it? I wondered as I kept receiving the punches from the Darkness who rejected me and tried to destroy me.

Why can’t I fight anymore? I wondered.

Was I satisfied with the little I did so far? Was I falling prey to my own weakness again? I could tell, and I had no idea how to find the answer to these simple questions.

But I want to see them one more time... I told myself as I turned my gaze towards the women I loved.

They were crying, shivering, and screaming something at me.

Was I to blame for their tears?

“Illsy...” I heard Nanya’s whisper.

“Illsy...” I heard Shanteya’s as well.

“Illsy...” Ayuseya’s...

“Master...” even little Tamara’s.

What are they trying to say? I wondered.

I focused on them. This time, I felt too weak and numbed to think about my own pain. There was no reason to avoid their gaze, be it hateful or loving. I had to watch them, to see them, to hear those words leaving their lips.

“Illsy... I love you... please... fight... come back to me.” Nanya cried.

These... these are not words of hate... I thought as tears formed in my eyes.

Reaching out to them, I heard their voices, their true voices filled with pure emotion. Their cries for help and salvation not for them but for me...

“My love, don’t despair... Fight! Fight and come back to me...” Ayuseya begged.

“Illsy, no matter what, we love you... I love you. That’s why fight and return to us with a happy smile.” Shanteya requested through her tears.

“Master must fight! Master is stronger than that thing! Master can win... Mas... Illsyore is the only one who cares for me... I’m a poor nekatar slave, but... but... I want Illsyore to win and return to me, to pet me more and feed me fish! Don’t leave me, Illsyore!” shouted Tamara.

Each in their own ways prayed and wished for me to fight so that I may return to them once more.

Do I still have the strength to do so? I wondered as I looked at my cracked hand as it was slowly chipped away by whips of darkness.

I closed my eyes.

I calmed my mind and listened to the echoes of their voices. They shook my soul, exciting the energy that could be found deep within it... a pure, white energy without even a spec of darkness around it.

There couldn’t be any darkness inside my heart, or so I claimed. Nevertheless, these emotions... anger, hate, frustration, and fear, what were way they but not darkness? Could a soul made out only of light, carrying love and honesty, honor and kindness, be able to express such dark thoughts if there was no trace of shadow in it?

No... I thought.

What was Darkness in the first place?

For a while now, no matter how hard it punched, how many past memories of those long dead Dungeons it made me see, no matter how many times my body shattered and was rebuilt again, I was never destroyed. I never left this world, but at the same time, I couldn’t destroy it either...

With my whole being numbed, I looked up at the endless Darkness. It was screaming something at me. It was shouting. It was casting a stream of endless spells, while I automatically dodged, blocked, or completely ignored them as they struck my body. It didn’t even matter. For each attack though, I struck back either with a spell or with my fists.

When was it that I start to retaliate again? I wondered as I looked at this whole scene as if through the eyes of an observer.

Everything felt like a confusing blur that never stopped nor changed...

Not far from me were my beloved wives. Outside, Zoreya was dying... Her time was short, while I felt like mine was never ending...

I was like a Buddhist monk trapped in that eternal bliss when one first reached what mankind called Nirvana. It was a trap that made you unable to act, or rather... it made you see no reason as to why you should do so in the first place.

It was the same for me...

But...

Wouldn’t it have been better to carry such a powerful state of mind in your current life, accept it freely, and act upon it? Wouldn’t it have been better to manifest myself in the real world rather than in the spiritual one? Wouldn’t it have been better to let myself drown in that state than to experience another second of this life’s suffering?

Ah... I strayed off from my thoughts again... I thought as I clenched my fist and stopped it right before I punched The Darkness.

“What are you?” I asked it.

“Guh... I am the manifestation of memories of Dungeons long gone... I am what you should be!” he growled at me while trying to maintain its cracked body just as much as I did.

Hm? I see it... but not think of ‘it’ as ‘him’... When did this start? I wondered.

Looking down at my hands and then at his... I wondered if maybe we were indeed like oil and water, refusing to mix for all eternity, and yet... At our origin, we were both fluids...

Maybe fighting against the very state of being mixed is my mistake? Ever since I came to this world, I rejected the Darkness... I was born a human soul, pure and white, without a sin, yet I constantly pushed back the gift... of my biological parents. I blinked surprised at that last thought of mine.

“ARGH!” I screamed as I pulled back.

My parents... I had none... Tuberculus built me... but still...

What are the parents of a Dungeon? How do they raise their child? I thought as I felt my head splitting apart.

Morals, thoughts, ideas, everything was in complete contradictory with The Darkness. That was why we fought. That was why it got a hold of me... The Darkness... at its very core... was a part of me...

Deusur... That child... There were no parents around with him, yet... What did he tell me back then? I wondered as I tried to remember.

As I did this, the splitting headache was calming down.

“Despite only born, he held memories from his parents... He knew the laws, the rules, and the ways to control his body and everything around his dungeon. It was all thanks to them, then... even I who have rejected the thought of having a child with any of my wives, it wasn’t because it was too early but... because I could not accept the ‘biological’ ways of a Dungeon. I am a human, after all... and as such, I don’t accept anything besides what I already know... Hah~! Is this the answer?” I said as I looked once more at my trembling, crumbling, aching hands.

Then I gazed up at The Darkness. It said nothing.

“The reason why you were born... it’s because... you are my shadow, aren’t you? My fear, my anger, my hate... and the part of me that makes me... ME.” I said with a smile as I flew towards it.

“STAY AWAY! I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER! I WILL TAKE YOUR BODY!” he shouted at me as it threw its best attacks at me, but none harmed me now.

“No... not anymore... You are not a monster... You are the gift from my parents, aren’t you? Tuberculus may have constructed me, but there are no new born dungeons out there who are sent into the world as a blank slate, are they?” I asked as I now stood in front of it.

“Guh... No, but if you, the main consciousness... the soul were to stay put and lay down in my cage, I could rule this body as I desire!” he retorted and tried to punch me.

I stopped his fist in the air.

“No... I can’t... and I won’t... This is the only thing I have yet to try... because I can’t defeat you with violence. The stronger I get, the stronger you become. The more I reject you, the more you try to come close. The more I harm you, the more I feel hurt... It makes sense now, doesn’t it? Everything that happened to me, everything that took place from the very moment I stepped into this world, right?” I smiled for the first time... in how long?

“Guh!” he didn’t like my words but couldn’t reject them either.

“Because I remembered my former life as a human, I was unable to fully accept the biological traits of this body of mine, meaning the memories of the long-gone Dungeons... Memories meant to help me survive as their legacy...” I said.

“Do you think they will accept you as a reincarnated human?! They will hate you when they find out the truth!” The Darkness shouted and then revealed the four women who shared a bond with me.

“Illsy?” Nanya asked surprised.

“Your soul is that of a human?” Ayuseya was surprised as well.

Even Shanteya and Tamara were too.

“Yes, in a way. It’s better to say that I’m a soul who can remember some of his memories from the time when he lived as a human in another world. That’s why I’m a bit strange... Hm? Now that I said it... I wonder why I never got the courage to tell you before? Was I that afraid that you will distance yourselves from me as a result?” I asked myself as I came to realize this. Tears formed in my eyes and flowed down my crack cheeks. “Do you hate me now?” I asked them with a soft smile.

“NEVER!” Nanya shouted, shaking her head. “I love you, Illsy! Even if you are a Dungeon, a Human, or whatever!” she declared.

“I as well! No matter what, my heart now belongs only to you, Illsy!” Ayuseya nodded.

“There was never a doubt about it, my love... Neither of us even care WHAT you are, after all, we accepted you as a Dungeon, one of the most hated and despised sapient species in this world. Why should we hate you for being... a former human?” Shanteya asked a fairly decent and simple question.

“I wonder why, indeed?” I said with a smile.

“Master... Illsyore is my Master! Dungeon or Human, I’m a nekatar! Feed me fish, pet me, and be nice to me, and I will like you!” Tamara gave her own form of cute reply.

“Thank you, my loves...” I bowed to them respectfully.

Then I turned to the Darkness.

“See... there was never a reason to fear and run away from them. They love me, no matter what. If Zoreya could find it in her heart to love me, despite her being an Apostle and crusader... why shouldn’t they? No... why should being a human even matter in the first place?” I asked.

“Because humans are evil! They killed us! They will kill you! They harmed us! They destroyed our creations! They slaughtered our pets, slaves, and lovers! They showed no mercy... they...” it tried to throw back reasons from its past while vehemently ignoring the present.

“They did... but besides Zoreya, aren’t I the only human here?” I asked.

“YES! THAT’S WHY I HATE YOU!” he shouted at me.

“I... I don’t anymore.” I replied honestly.

“You tried to kill me! To dispose of me like I was some bug! Kill or be killed... isn’t that the way of all living beings in this world?!” he questioned me and reminded me how from the very beginning I was the one who acted like all the other humans in his memories.

I never approved him. I always denied at first even the existence of other memories besides my own, let alone accept them. I struggled to be a human in a Dungeon’s body rather than a Dungeon with a human heart and mind...

So in the end, he spoke the truth. If I, the soul, was unable to accept and cherish him, then who would? And most importantly, how could he believe anyone else would?

It was simple... It was the truth...

“I don’t anymore... and for what I did, I apologize...” I said and then reached out to him.

This time, my light stopped fighting and instead began to accept him. I embraced him.

“Darkness, I accept you now as part of me and wish for us to become the True Illsyore we never got to be... I want for both of us to finally be healed...” I declared.

And with this, light shone as bright as day, covering everything around us and reaching all the way to the edge of this infinite darkness. The memories of the former dungeons, which I ignored and reject this entire life, for the first time ever, I accepted them fully as part of me. However, accepting one’s darkness and letting themselves be ruled by it were two different things... I was the one who was going to hold the reins, while The Darkness was to become that which was meant to be from the very first time... the Dungeon part of me.

[Status system has been restored]

[New skills unlocked]

[Level has been reset to 1]

[Do you wish to switch to [Instinctual Mode] or keep [HUD Mode] Y/N]

Thus, the True Illsyore was born...