~ Chapter 5: Fate ~

[Michael’s point of view]

When I was little, I could never understand why people looked at me with such hateful eyes, why they wished to harm me, and why they put so much effort into making me cry. Each day that passed by was nothing but a living hell for me, but I continued to march forward, still hoping, deep down, in my heart, that someday, maybe, I would find a little bit of happiness.

Even a small smile would have been enough for me...

There were times when I dreamed of how it would be to see someone showing me kindness. To offer me a gentle friendly pat on the shoulder or a loving embrace. I dreamed of how it would be like to have a friend to play and share various thoughts with. Unfortunately, I always woke up alone and surrounded by glares and words filled with venom.

Actually, it was a wonder I never thought about killing myself. Every day passed by so horribly that I had more than enough reasons to do it. Then again, if I did try, maybe God would have saved me time and time again, letting me keep on living in this nightmarish hell.

Still, I could not come to hate God or my fate. No matter how hard I tried, my heart resonated with love for this unknown entity.

From a normal human’s point of view, I was quite messed up in the head, wasn’t I? To love those who hate you? To be unable to hate them or wish harm upon them. Actually, as I ran through those dark alleys and thought about those things, my heart hurt.

Why was I able to love them, yet they could not even dare to think of such a thing? Why couldn’t I just hate them? Why couldn’t I just grab that knife, gun, bat, whatever and kill them with it? Why was it so hard for me and so easy for them?

Unrestrained tears flowed down on my cheeks. I stopped for a moment and grabbed my chest. I was out of breath, and my heart was stabbed with needles of pure pain because of those thoughts and emotions swirling inside of me. I struck the wall with my fist and then it went limp.

“Why, God? Why?” I asked with eyes filled with tears.

Slumping down on the ground, I leaned with my back against the wall and cried there for a few moments. I had to get that pain out of my system. I had to get back up on my feet before those men captured me. Even if there was no chance for me to escape, I simply had to try to escape, I had to...

“Please... help me, God.” I begged as I got back up on my feet.

Looking back on the alley, I didn’t hear or see any signs of anyone chasing after me. After I wiped the tears from my eyes, I started to run again.

The cold, the loneliness, the pain, everything surrounded me and pushed hard upon the walls of my mind and soul. With every step I took, these feelings seemed to grow stronger and stronger, but I kept pushing forward. Maybe just maybe there was a bit of hope for me in all of this darkness?

“Michael? What are you doing here?” I suddenly heard his voice, and I burst into a cold sweat.

My brother was there, standing just a few steps away from me, holding his phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He was smoking in secret, and I found out.

“Sorry m-master, I didn’t see you…” I said backing away slowly.

My body trembled from the cold and fear, my tears swelled up again, and my mind brought forth countless reasons to feel more afraid of him than of those men chasing after me. My brother could end up torturing me himself, beating me, even dragging me back by force. If I bumped into him, then there was no chance for me to run away.

He dropped his cigarette on the ground and put it out.

“What are you doing here, ya vermin?” he questioned with a harsh tone of voice.

I flinched and closed my eyes, clenching my teeth and fists.

“N-nothing... m-master. I was o-out on a s-stroll.” I lied.

“The hell? Garbage is out on a stroll? You don’t look like it.” he said as he narrowed his eyes, analyzing my deplorable figure. “You look more like you are running from someone and ended up landing in some pile of shit instead!” he spat on my chest.

“I’m s-s-sorry! P-please forgive me!” I pleaded and dropped on my knees.

I could only hope for a miracle that he would let me off, but would my fate be so kind to me, I wondered.

“Like hell I would!” he shouted, “Anyway, I just sold ya as a sex slave to a stupid gay nympho for a couple o’ bucks… It’s only for two weeks, but y’all make it! Ha! Ha! Ha!” he said with a vile smirk on his lips.

He laughed so loudly, it was like I was hearing a madman before he committed some sort of dreaded felony. But then again, didn’t they all do that already? Every member of my family sold me that day for one reason or another. I was nothing more than an object to them, a piece of meat they could toss around without even the slightest care, actually, it was the exact opposite of this, they enjoyed every moment of it like some demons from the deepest parts of Hell.

Once more, tears flooded from the corners of my eyes. I cried for myself because there was no one else who would. I simply could not understand where all of their hate was coming from and why... No matter if they were initially good or bad people, they all ended up showing some sort of malice towards me. Was there simply no escape for me?

“There ya are my little organ donor!” said a tough-looking yakuza with a smirk on his lips.

The man suddenly appeared from around the corner, alongside three others.

They found me. I froze with fear.

“What? Ya didn’t give them your organs yet? Ya shitty dog!” shouted my brother as he walked up to me and then hit me with his foot. I fell on my back.

“Ugh...” I groaned grabbing my stomach.

“Please... Stop... brother… Why? What did I do to deserve this?” I asked with my eyes filled with tears, but none responded.

They did not care about my pleas. For them, I was not a fellow human. I was nothing more than a bag of meat they could do as they pleased with. It did not matter if I was hurting, if I cried, if I groveled on the ground. It did not matter what I thought or if I could dream and love. I was not a human... the condition for being a human was to be someone else but me.

Two of the yakuza grabbed me by the hands and dragged me to the dark corner of the alley, where no one would hear me scream. Although, even if they did, because it was me, they would end up ignoring my desperate calls for help. As they did this, I caught a glimpse of some JSDF soldiers. They positioned themselves as guards at every entrance in the alley. The men who swore to protect their country and all of its citizens didn’t see me as someone who deserved that protection. My very own flesh and blood brother watched with a satisfied smile on his face as I helplessly tried to free myself from their strong grasp.

“Stand still, you runt!” said one of them as he hit me in the stomach.

I gasped for air and fell silent for a moment. My vision was blurry from my tears, and my body was numb.

“Come on boys, don’t be so rough. The boss wants his organs in perfect state. You mess him up, and you will be the one donating!” warned another one.

I could not see him, but I could hear the clinking sounds of surgical tools as they hit each other. They were going to do it there. They were going to cut me open in the middle of this alley and remove my organs. What sort of luck could I have to end up like this? What were even the odds of bumping into the exact same group of people who were prepared for such an operation? I couldn’t understand and simply gave up on trying.

The only answer to these questions was a rather simple one: because it was me, they had all the right in the Universe to do so.

Even so, I did not want to die like that.

“Undress him.” ordered the yakuza who was going to do the operation.

“Sure thing!” said the guy who held my left hand.

While the other one made sure I didn’t squirm around too much by holding my hands steady, the other ripped open my shirt and tossed it away. I had that shirt for more than three years now, but I guess it was time to change it anyway...

The little joke made me smile on the inside, but my lips only knew how to tremble from the fear of the pain I was about to experience. These men were not in their right mind. Even if they wanted to do it, what of all the traces they would leave behind? Weren’t they afraid of the police? Surely that had to be so, but just then, I remembered the moments from my childhood when the police instead of helping me out, they always did the opposite and ganged up with the villains.

I had to face it. This society, this world only desired to cause me pain, and I wasn’t victimizing myself, it was an actual fact proven time and time again.

“Can’t I just shoot him in the face? I would love to see his brains splattered all over the place! The hell with those contracts!” said a soldier as he took out his pistol and pointed it at me.

A weird laughter left my lips as I looked horrified at the barrel of the gun. Things were getting beyond ridiculous. I shook my head, and tears flowed down on my cheeks. It was a nightmare from which I could not wake up.

Had it been another, the soldier would have aimed the weapon at the three yakuza with a grin all the way up to their ears. If instead of me, it was another human here, they wouldn’t have done those things. They would have feared the consequences. Even if they were yakuza, they didn’t want to get caught so easily and cause trouble for their oyabun. The soldiers could certainly face court-martial, since these acts of theirs went far beyond just breaking the laws. They stood against everything they had sworn not to do, yet here they were, pointing their gun at a seventeen-years-old kid being held down to have his organs harvested by criminals.

Are they even humans? I had to ask myself.

Putting myself in their place, I would have been unable in any way or manner to show such cruelty and madness. Maybe not even a demon could dare do such a thing.

“N-no... please. Have mercy...” I whimpered.

Feeling all hope leaving my body, I closed my eyes and just… gave up… There was nothing I could do, there was no one to ask for help. My fate was sealed, and my life forfeit. I tried to smile, to think of at least one pleasant thing that happened to me during my cursed life. One single moment was all that I asked for, but even with my memory, there was nothing I could think of.

Then again, maybe there was one... a farfetched one, but still there. A few moments ago, when I bumped into that woman. I do not know why, but that feint yellow light felt warm and beautiful. It wasn’t much, but just with that, I could leave this world now... I was ready to die...

“I’m sorry boys, but he’s mine...” I suddenly heard a woman speak.

Her words flowed over the tip of her lips in such a sensual and pleasant way, heating up my entire body. They were like the whispers of a lover after a night of hot passion, not that I even knew what that was anyway... I wondered who she was?